At the peak of my devastation and anger over the killings of Keith Lamont Scott and Terence Crutcher, I penned this op-ed. I thought long and hard before shopping it and came close to shelving it, but was encouraged by my new friend who said it brought tears to her eyes and my childhood friend  who said "Writing is fighting. Keep fighting." I knew I'd done the right thing when the HuffPost expressed interest and I immediately began to cry. So ...thank you to you both for giving this article life. This piece served as a catharsis for me as I was writing it, and I hope it will do at least two things -- 1. validate the feelings so many of us are having as well as 2. start a public conversation. In my opinion, we need police as a system, in a coordinated effort, to come out and say "Yes, we see your pain. We see your fear. We also cry when people die. We also want change and will work with you to make it happen immediately." While I know this is being said by police systems behind closed doors (I've been behind them), it is not getting to the public for political reasons, and that is creating a powderkeg situation.